stupid people suck

so i have a friend of a friend (read into it what you will, i'm not saying another word on that subject) who works at a place where the director general is known as napoleon. clearly the man wasn't baptized this way, but rather lovingly given that nickname by his subordinates. not surprisingly, napoleon was rechristened this way not because of his wartime prowess, but rather because of a certain ego reminiscent of the great general. that and the fact that his height and fashion sense closely echo the historical figure's. now that the introductions are over, i move into the topic of this post....stupid people suck. though i suppose i should amend that title to say "stupid people (with egos and power) suck."

it just so happens that this friend shares with me the micromanagement techniques napoleon is fond of...of the sort that effectively undermine the very people he's hired (or have been hired) to do big and small, though no less important, jobs. today, for example, a conversation about a certain calendar was whittled down to whether napoleon wanted bullet points or dashes or neither (because it was hard on the eye (sigh)) in a particular list of events. i ask you, is this the measure of a director general (or a general director, as the case may be)? bullet points or dashes?? i know presentation is everything, but i have a feeling bill gates isn't worried about whether the apple office's calendar is in arial or helvetica (there are style manuals for that, right?). my friend was hired, apparently, to do a job that napoleon would like done by chimps.

my friend's napoleon is also fond of successfully flubbing every speech he's ever been written. yes, you read correctly, the man is incapable of writing his own speeches (or letters, emails or any other "official" piece of writing. perhaps this explains why he likes to discuss bullets vs. dashes as opposed to actual content). he is a master of going off topic, veering like a child behind the wheel of a tractor trailer onto random tangents that lead the audience into a state of utter confusion. speeches lay in front of him on podiums, waiting to be read and they wait in vain, until the very end when he realizes he's been at it for far too long and tries to find a tail to grab onto and finish with, ending speeches with as much clarity as a bowl of pea soup. just last week my friend told me that napoleon made a particularly fine mess of things when discussing a new construction project to be finished in the year "twenty thousand eight" (i kid you not), among other fine flubs that day. or when presenting his right hand men and women, with whom he meets weekly, and is completely unable to remember their names.

this particular napoleon, like so many egomaniacs in history, is also fond of requesting projects, large and small, at a moment's notice and then forgetting about them completely. this is especially fun, my friend tells me, when budgets are null, time is not exactly flowing freely and resources are at an all time low. ah, but then napoleon speaks his most famous line, "i never remember half the things i say." need i say more?

if you're wondering why i take such umbrage at my friend's napoleon's goings on (and this short post is not nearly adequate to cover all of his sins), i'll leave that guess work up to you. i leave you now with just a singular taste of what my friend endures...

"i need this for tomorrow at 9 a.m."
"okay, you'll have it"
tomorrow, 9 a.m. - secretary: "napoleon isn't coming today, he's taking vacations"