Closing circles
Dear Lucas,
It dawned on your papi and I this morning that your tears when you go to your new school aren't because you're afraid of the new school or because you don't like it, but because we haven't properly said goodbye to your old school. And I say "we" very deliberately. We all, you, Andrés, Papi and I loved your first school. And none of us have said goodbye yet. We haven't shown you that it's possible. That it's ok to be sad. To feel loss.
We couldn't have picked a better place to let you and your brother begin your lifelong journey of learning. Kid's Place is a small, comfortable, welcoming and warm school. One full of understanding and love and now, after your three years there, full of your friends, our friends. The only friends you know. The only ones you know how to call friends. I want you to know that those children will always be your friends if you want them. Four walls do not a friendship make; friendship lives in your heart and in your effort at holding people close. In time I know you'll understand that, but right now I think it feels like you'll never see them again. I know the feeling well. I want you to know that that's not the case, not for you.
I went to 12 different schools, and each one represented exactly what this change means to you. A giant empty space that I felt that it was my job to fill - with new friends, new comforts, new memories and new traditions. It always felt like such a daunting task, but time and again I did it and I know that you'll do it too. What I never did very successfully though was say proper goodbyes. Not physical goodbyes with hugs and waves, but the goodbyes and letting go that we need on the inside. Each new school meant the loss of friends, a comfort zone, my town and a home. I left each place for good, but I never knew how to let go. I wasn't shown how. I was told to move on, find the positive. Just like I asked you to do this morning. I'm so sorry. I see now that that's not what you need.
I want you to know today that it's ok to be sad. Cry if you need to. Let your sadness or anger or confusion out. It's ok. We need it. You need it. I promise you I'll talk to you about it. I'll try and help you get it to a place where it doesn't hurt, where it makes sense. I can't take the sadness away or make change any easier (it certainly doesn't get any easier with age!), but I promise to try to learn how to face change, mourn the loss and learn to live the new things with the best attitude possible and help you do the same.
You are stronger than you know. You are as sensitive a person as I've ever met and I know that you feel what goes on inside and around you with every fiber of your being. I can't protect you from hurting when something happens, but together I promise that we'll learn how to get through it all with grace and understanding.
I love you,
Mami
Dear Lucas,
It dawned on your papi and I this morning that your tears when you go to your new school aren't because you're afraid of the new school or because you don't like it, but because we haven't properly said goodbye to your old school. And I say "we" very deliberately. We all, you, Andrés, Papi and I loved your first school. And none of us have said goodbye yet. We haven't shown you that it's possible. That it's ok to be sad. To feel loss.
We couldn't have picked a better place to let you and your brother begin your lifelong journey of learning. Kid's Place is a small, comfortable, welcoming and warm school. One full of understanding and love and now, after your three years there, full of your friends, our friends. The only friends you know. The only ones you know how to call friends. I want you to know that those children will always be your friends if you want them. Four walls do not a friendship make; friendship lives in your heart and in your effort at holding people close. In time I know you'll understand that, but right now I think it feels like you'll never see them again. I know the feeling well. I want you to know that that's not the case, not for you.
I went to 12 different schools, and each one represented exactly what this change means to you. A giant empty space that I felt that it was my job to fill - with new friends, new comforts, new memories and new traditions. It always felt like such a daunting task, but time and again I did it and I know that you'll do it too. What I never did very successfully though was say proper goodbyes. Not physical goodbyes with hugs and waves, but the goodbyes and letting go that we need on the inside. Each new school meant the loss of friends, a comfort zone, my town and a home. I left each place for good, but I never knew how to let go. I wasn't shown how. I was told to move on, find the positive. Just like I asked you to do this morning. I'm so sorry. I see now that that's not what you need.
I want you to know today that it's ok to be sad. Cry if you need to. Let your sadness or anger or confusion out. It's ok. We need it. You need it. I promise you I'll talk to you about it. I'll try and help you get it to a place where it doesn't hurt, where it makes sense. I can't take the sadness away or make change any easier (it certainly doesn't get any easier with age!), but I promise to try to learn how to face change, mourn the loss and learn to live the new things with the best attitude possible and help you do the same.
You are stronger than you know. You are as sensitive a person as I've ever met and I know that you feel what goes on inside and around you with every fiber of your being. I can't protect you from hurting when something happens, but together I promise that we'll learn how to get through it all with grace and understanding.
I love you,
Mami
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